To Love & Be Loved

Once upon a time…. A very poor man lived with his wife. One day, his wife, who had very long hair asked him to buy her a comb for her hair to grow well and to be well-groomed. The man felt very sorry and said no. He explained that he did not even have enough money to fix the strap of his watch he had just broken. She did not insist on her request. The man went to work and passed by a watch shop, sold his damaged watch at a low price and went to buy a comb for his wife. He came home in the evening with the comb in his hand ready to give to his wife. He was surprised when he saw his wife with a very short hair cut. She had sold her hair and was holding a new watch band. Tears flowed simultaneously from their eyes, not for the futility of their actions, but for the reciprocity of their love.

My Message:

Real love is mutual and is connected with reciprocity. Love is definitely not about expectation. If you start expecting things out of love it will almost always ruin what you are sharing in your relationships. It is a common thing that we give to others and expect the same in return when the time comes. We all know the famous line of "I owe you one" or "you owe me one"… This isn't what love is about. It's about giving of yourself completely and not expecting anything back in return, that is real love. Expectations may cause more stress than joy. They spoil the beauty of giving, which may lead to disappointment if the person doesn't return the kindness; and can tie your intentions to an internal score card, which places a wedge in the relationship. If you really love the people closest to you then start giving without conditional terms… If we can all achieve this then the above story will be something which we can all experience.

To love is nothing, to be loved is something but to love and to be loved by the one you love, that is everything.

May you have an awesome week!

Darren Zwiers

Pleasure is a necessary reciprocal. No one feels, who does not at the same time give it. To be pleased, one must please. What pleases you in others, will in general please them in you." ~ Lord Chesterfield

Someday Isle

I read the following article yesterday and it deeply moved me. I'm sure I'm not the only one who is guilty of living on this Island. This week's email follows a slightly different format as the below article is too good not to share.... Enjoy!

"Everybody wants to achieve great goals. They want to be happy, healthy, thin, rich, attractive, financially independent. We all want the same things. But what happens is people decide I want these things but before they start they decide they want to take a vacation and they go to a wonderful place called Someday Isle. And on Someday Isle they say someday I'll lose some weight and someday I'll take that course and someday I'll finish it, and someday I'll send out that letter and someday I'll save some money, and someday I'll get out of debt. And who are they surrounded by on this wonderful fantasy land? Other people who are on Someday Isle. And what all these people day in and day out do is think of excuses. They think of reasons why not to get started. And this is what we've found is that successful people take action, and unsuccessful people take vacations on the island. So I'm going to give you the first secret of success today; it is vote yourself off the island, for life. No more Someday Isle. If you get an idea today, tomorrow, yesterday, if you get an idea take action on it now. Move now, move quickly. Because 95% of your success or failure in life is determined by your habits. And anything that you do repeatedly over and over again becomes a new habit. So therefore if you develop the habit of moving quickly and with focus and purpose, you become a completely different person than people who develop the habit of going to the island before they take any action." ~ Brian Tracy

May you have an awesome week!

Darren Zwiers

 "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." — William Durant

Changing Course

The captain of a ship received a message one night, "Change your direction 15 degrees North to avoid collision." A little indignant, the captain replied, "I am the captain of a large ship and recommend you divert 15 degrees South." The captain received the reply, "We are a lighthouse."

My Message:

It doesn't matter who you are, life always requires flexibility. It's important to understand this and be willing to make an adjustment. Flexibility needs to be continually exercised in all areas of our lives… work, marriage, families, friendships and so forth. Being flexible isn't about being a weak or passive individual, it's the total opposite. Flexibility is a conscious choice, a skill, and a beneficial approach to the ever-changing, always evolving world we live in today. You can be firm in your convictions, passionate about your values and true to your intentions, yet at the same time be flexible enough to make significant changes and be open to new ideas along the journey. Sure, being flexible certainly isn't an easy task, however, just like your physical body, the more attention you place on expanding your flexibility, the more likely you are to do it. As you learn and enhance your ability to be flexible, your relationships and experience in this world can and will grow in ways you would only dream of. Life and the people around you are always changing. The more easily and quicker you can adapt, the more successful, happy, and appreciated you will become.

May you have an awesome week!

Darren Zwiers

"I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times". Everett Dirksen

House Of A Thousand Mirrors

(A Japanese Folktale)

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the House, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often." In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

My Message:

What we reflect is what we are… All the time!!!

Happy, positive people see the reflection of their warmth and friendly attributes in the world and unhappy negative people see the reflection of their sadness and unwelcoming attributes. The energies that you put into the world have a massive effect not just on others around you but most importantly yourself. If you have an outgoing, uplifting attitude towards life then that is exactly what the world will give you back. What you project is what you will become. Have you ever wondered that when you're in a bad mood, people irritate you more, you can't stand to be around them and when someone says something innocent you snap back… Could it be that you're projecting differently? How about the opposite. Why is that when you're in a good mood it's a pleasure to be around people and you are always willing to help them?… Did you change or did they? The answer is obvious. You get what you give in more ways than you can imagine. We see things in others that exist within ourselves, the

good and the ugly. Don't you agree that its far better to always see the good? Well…. in order to see the good in others it's essential to show it yourself and only you can do it, so don't hold back, express your positivity a thousand times over.

May you have an awesome week!

Darren Zwiers

"You get the best out of others when you get the best out of yourself."Harvey S. Firestone

30 Second Speech

By Bryan Dyson, Former CEO of Coca Cola

"Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling some five balls in the air. You name them – Work, Family, Health, Friends and Spirit and you're keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. But the other four balls – Family, Health, Friends and Spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these; they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for it. Work efficiently during office hours and leave on time. Give the required time to your family, friends and have proper rest. "Value has a value only if its value is valued."

My Message:

The message here is straight forward and a great way of pointing out that some things in life are more forgiving than others. Some things you can get back and others if you are not careful could be lost forever, which can leave you feeling remorse. How do you juggle your 5 balls? Are you willing to let the rubber one bounce every now and again to protect the glass ones? Some of your glass balls might already have the odd scratch here and mark there, but that's only because you weren't willing to allow the rubber ball to bounce. You should always remember and value the valuables in life, sometimes you only realise their value when its too late. Family, friends, health… these are your roots. If you cut the roots you can't survive and the entire tree will die, nothing will be left other than your career or work life. Work will always be there, jobs come and go. You can get them if you so desire. Ends will always meet. Food will find a way to be put on the table, but you must always find a way in your busy schedule to bless and be grateful to the most valuable things in your life… Family, Health, Friends and Spirit. Hold on tight to these things as you need them for the long-haul and don't ever let them drop and shatter.

May you have an awesome week!

Darren Zwiers

"Your beliefs become your thoughts,Your thoughts become your words,Your words become your actions,Your actions become your habits,Your habits become your values,Your values become your destiny."- Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi

Boiled Frogs

Biological studies have shown that if a frog is placed in a container along with water from its own pond, it will remain there, utterly still, while the water is slowly heated up. The frog doesn't react to the gradual increase in temperature, to the changes in its environment, and when the water reaches boiling point, the frog dies, fat and happy. 'On the other hand, if a frog is thrown into a container full of already boiling water, it will jump straight out again, scalded, but alive!'

Sometimes we behave like the boiled toads. We do not notice the changes around us or we simply choose to ignore them as its easier. We think that everything is fine and that anything bad will simply just go away… In our own lives and in the community at large. We ignore challenges, we procrastinate and choose not to solve life's trials. We do not make amends with people we have fought with and eventually as time progresses we get old and die without the opportunity to make sudden changes that impact a better way of living. It's better to emerge from a situation slightly scalded, alive with the scars of knowledge and life experience than to die with unsolved and missed opportunities.

May you have an excellent week!

Darren Zwiers

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person, or if we wait for some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." ― Barack Obama

2013, Your Year!

Happy New Year!

Happy new year to all my readers. I just want to take this opportunity to thank you all for your positive feedback and insights in 2012. It has been an awesome year. This email proudly marks my 108th to go out, (over 2yrs of writing) and I promise to be giving you even more uplifting content in 2013. Instead of opening with a story this week I thought I would share a slice of wisdom for you to take into the coming year…

As everything we do in life there are no second chances, either we lose or we win! Everything is mental; most of the time we bring to our lives what we think about. Our journey has two paths, one towards light and the other towards darkness. Yes, life is a choice! Everything and Everybody starts from scratch; it is your choice in what place you wish to finish. If you accept mental poverty, all kinds of poverty is what you will get. If you wish and aim for wealth and success that is what you will certainly gain. This is the same for all areas of our lives. Change your attitude to "I can win now"! Be cheerful and relaxed, regardless of any circumstance. Always keep your focus on solutions; don't let anybody rob you of your happiness, especially that it is uniquely designed for you only. Don't allow challenges or circumstances to defeat you, they are always disguised as opportunity and fulfillment. Make sure to do the right thing. Demand from yourself whatever it takes to win - clarity, focus, effort, persistence, sacrifice, discipline, passion, and love - not only to survive but also to win and win with honour. Believe it or not, life is a give and take. We stop receiving as soon as we stop giving and this for all areas of our lives!! That's the ultimate balance of life!!! If opportunity doesn't come knocking, build a door. Remember with absolute faith that every tomorrow you WILL do even better, never stop trying. Make 2013 your year! Keep believing in yourself! Every single day make sure to have a positive attitude and outlook on life, yes it will be difficult at times, but that's what separates the winners from the losers... a consistent wining attitude. Remember the only thing that is stopping you from being successful, righteous and happy is yourself.

Let go and make 2013 the best year ever.

I look forward to sharing a positive and inspired 2013 with you.

Stay Awesome!

Darren Zwiers

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year." - Ralph Waldo Emerson