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The Chef & His Daughter

THE STORY:
A daughter complained to her father about life and how things were so 
hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted 
to give up.
She was tired of struggling. It seemed that as soon as one 
problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with 
water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In 
one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last he 
placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a 
word. 
The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he 
was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished 
the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and 
placed them in a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a 
bowl too. Turning to her he asked. "What do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied. 
He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and 
noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break 
it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. 
Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its 
rich aroma.

She said, "What's the point?" 
He explained that each of the items had faced the same adversity - 
boiling water - but each reacted differently. 
The carrot went in strong and hard. But after being subjected to the 
boiling water, it softened and became weak. 
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid 
interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became 
hardened. 
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the 
boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Do you become weak, like a carrot, hard on the inside, like an egg, or do you change the circumstances, like the coffee beans?"

MY MESSAGE:
This is such a beautiful story as it explains exactly how we should act when faced with difficult situations. Leading on from last weeks email when we learnt the importance of finding peace within chaos, the next level is how do we react once we find that moment of clarity? There are different ways to react to hardship and these can all vary depending on our personalities and what challenge is on our horizon. There are times when you have to go above what's required of you, being firm and other moments when you have to have the initiative to pull back, but what ever happens and whatever you decide to go with don't be weak or suppress things - change circumstances from within! Know what is right from with in your heart, take a step back and act in the best way you possibly can!
Last weeks pointers were well received, so as this is an 'expansion' to last week, I thought I would throw in some more neat tips to enhance your 'decision making' in difficult situations.
Never forget humans always grow stronger when exposed to challenges they feel they can't achieve. Don't set limits on yourself, just be awesome!

1. Take responsibility.
Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.

2. Limit the focus.
Don’t let the problem become all encompassing. When you compartmentalise the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution.

3. Be optimistic.
The ultimate belief in life as positive, even with hard-times and troubles, will result in positive behaviours and positive actions.

4. Think creatively.
Approach the problem from new and different directions. Trust your creativity.

5. Have courage.
Having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means that you don’t let the fear get in the way of doing what you need to do.

6. Take action.
Handling the day-to-day details can keep you from getting bogged down in the mud of adversity. Determine what can be done, and do it.

7. Take the long-range view.
Remember that “this too shall pass.” Recount other times when you have overcome challenges.

8. Maintain a sense of humour.
Even in the darkest times, laughter can help ease the pain.

9. Get support.
No need to do it alone. Ask for help.

10. Don’t quit.
Persistence may be the greatest of human qualities that help us overcome adversity. Consider how water smoothes stones and wind sculpts Cliffsides.

May you always have the inner power to be able to act in a pro-active positive way in every challenge that faces you this week and the coming weeks.
Have a super awesome week!!

Darren Zwiers

THE QUOTE:

“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”