The Chef & His Daughter
THE STORY:
A daughter complained to her father about life and how things were so
hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted
to give up.
She was tired of struggling. It seemed that as soon as one
problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with
water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In
one he placed carrots, in the second he placed eggs, and the last he
placed ground coffee beans. He let them sit and boil, without saying a
word.
The daughter sucked her teeth and impatiently waited, wondering what he
was doing. In about twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He fished
the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. He pulled the eggs out and
placed them in a bowl. Then he ladled the coffee out and placed it in a
bowl too. Turning to her he asked. "What do you see?""Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.
He brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and
noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break
it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.
Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. She smiled as she tasted its
rich aroma.She said, "What's the point?"
He explained that each of the items had faced the same adversity -
boiling water - but each reacted differently.
The carrot went in strong and hard. But after being subjected to the
boiling water, it softened and became weak.
The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid
interior. But after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became
hardened.
The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the
boiling water, they had changed the water."Which are you?" he asked his daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Do you become weak, like a carrot, hard on the inside, like an egg, or do you change the circumstances, like the coffee beans?"MY MESSAGE:
This is such a beautiful story as it explains exactly how we should act when faced with difficult situations. Leading on from last weeks email when we learnt the importance of finding peace within chaos, the next level is how do we react once we find that moment of clarity? There are different ways to react to hardship and these can all vary depending on our personalities and what challenge is on our horizon. There are times when you have to go above what's required of you, being firm and other moments when you have to have the initiative to pull back, but what ever happens and whatever you decide to go with don't be weak or suppress things - change circumstances from within! Know what is right from with in your heart, take a step back and act in the best way you possibly can!
Last weeks pointers were well received, so as this is an 'expansion' to last week, I thought I would throw in some more neat tips to enhance your 'decision making' in difficult situations.
Never forget humans always grow stronger when exposed to challenges they feel they can't achieve. Don't set limits on yourself, just be awesome!1. Take responsibility.
Assume an “I can do something” attitude rather than pointing fingers. If nothing else, you can control your own response to the situation.2. Limit the focus.
Don’t let the problem become all encompassing. When you compartmentalise the difficulty, you can focus on a workable solution.3. Be optimistic.
The ultimate belief in life as positive, even with hard-times and troubles, will result in positive behaviours and positive actions.4. Think creatively.
Approach the problem from new and different directions. Trust your creativity.5. Have courage.
Having courage doesn’t mean you’re not afraid. It means that you don’t let the fear get in the way of doing what you need to do.6. Take action.
Handling the day-to-day details can keep you from getting bogged down in the mud of adversity. Determine what can be done, and do it.7. Take the long-range view.
Remember that “this too shall pass.” Recount other times when you have overcome challenges.8. Maintain a sense of humour.
Even in the darkest times, laughter can help ease the pain.9. Get support.
No need to do it alone. Ask for help.10. Don’t quit.
Persistence may be the greatest of human qualities that help us overcome adversity. Consider how water smoothes stones and wind sculpts Cliffsides.May you always have the inner power to be able to act in a pro-active positive way in every challenge that faces you this week and the coming weeks.
Have a super awesome week!!Darren ZwiersTHE QUOTE:
“What makes the desert beautiful is that somewhere it hides a well.”
Monday, 31 January 2011
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Monday, 24 January 2011
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The Peace Contest
THE STORY:
There once was a king who offered a prize to the artist who would paint the best picture of peace. Many artists tried and submitted their work.
The king looked at all the pictures. There were only two he really liked, and he had to choose between them.
One of the most awesome things about being human is that we have the free choice to be at peace, to be calm, even when the world around us is not. This takes great practise and strength to have the power to identify the beauty of peace in chaos and it is so important to exercise this ability everyday, not only for the benefit of ourselves, but those closest to us. Holocaust survivor, author and psychotherapist, Viktor Frankl, reminds us that what happens in the world around us does not have to determine the way we feel about our lives. (If you haven't read his book "Mans search for Meaning" I highly recommend you do). The choice on how you react to life from what it hands you is purely up to you. We are creatures of reaction, we don't control what gets handed to us, only how we deal with it and more importantly how we grow from it.This idea is great and we can all breath it in like fresh air but when the storm breaks we immediately forget its importance, our brains cloud up with frustration and this email would be a waste of time. I can offer you some simple (simple when in the right frame of mind) pointers for when you feel like you going to 'lose it'... remember these points especially when its needed:1. Take breaks to reflect. - Whenever possible, take a break to reflect on the moment. Even short breaks can be a helpful reminder of peace in silence and recharge resistance to noise and haste.
2. Practice silent meditation. - The calming effects of silent meditation can carry us through chaos with inner peace that is nearly impossible to disrupt.
3. Look for gems. - No matter how much chaos surrounds us, we can always find things that make us feel joy and calm. It could be another person’s actions, an item, such as a picture, or an observation. Look actively for these and you will find them.
4. Slow down. - Multi-tasking and running from task to task tend to have an ironically negative effect on productivity and rob us of our ability to truly enjoy life. In order to find the gems mentioned above, it is necessary to slow down.
5. Be independent of the opinions of others. - Concerning ourselves with the opinions of others who may be involved in the noise and haste makes it difficult to avoid getting caught up in it.
6. Be tolerant of the actions of others. - Avoid the temptation to be pulled into drama and chaos by attempting to judge and project your values onto others. If you choose to judge, you will feel the need to observe actions you find disturbing.
and
7. Avoid comparing yourself to others. - Be your own person and handle things the way you feel is right not how you think others will....and with all this in mind may your coming weeks be filled with peace and may you keep living an awesome life of complete serenity!!
Darren Zwiers
THE QUOTE:
"Each one has to find his peace from within. And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.” - Mahatma Gandhi
Monday, 17 January 2011
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To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E
I came across this story some time back and I am very excited to share it with you on this awesome Monday. It is a little longer than the usual story I send, Im breaking my own rules, but it is well worth the read. Without denying it, the first time I read it my eyes swelled up and the lesson behind this beautiful story has stuck with me since.
In the faint light of the attic, an old man, tall and stooped, bent his great frame and made his way to a stack of boxes that sat near one of the little half-windows.
Brushing aside a wisp of cobwebs, he tilted the top box toward the light and began to carefully lift out one old photograph album after another. Eyes once bright but now dim searched longingly for the source that had drawn him here. It began with the fond recollection of the love of his life, long gone, and somewhere in these albums was a photo of her he hoped to rediscover.
Silent as a mouse, he patiently opened the long-buried treasures and soon was lost in a sea of memories. Although his world had not stopped spinning when his wife left it, the past was more alive in his heart than his present aloneness. Setting aside one of the dusty albums, he pulled from the box what appeared to be a journal from his grown son’s childhood. He could not recall ever having seen it before, or that his son had ever kept a journal. Why did Elizabeth always save the children’s old junk? he wondered, shaking his white head. Opening the yellowed pages, he glanced over a short entry, and his lips curved in an unconscious smile. Even his eyes brightened as he read the words that spoke clear and sweet to his soul. It was the voice of the little boy who had grown up far too fast in this very house, and whose voice had grown fainter and fainter over the years. In the utter silence of the attic, the words of a guileless six-year-old worked their magic and carried the old man back to a time almost totally forgotten. Entry after entry stirred a sentimental hunger in his heart like the longing a gardener feels in the winter for the fragrance of spring flowers. But it was accompanied by the painful memory that his son’s simple recollections of those days were far different from his own. But how different?
Reminded that he had kept a daily journal of his business activities over the years, he closed his son’s journal and turned to leave, having forgotten the cherished photo that originally triggered his search. Hunched over to keep from bumping his head on the rafters, the old man stepped to the wooden stairway and made his descent, then headed down a carpeted stairway that led to the den. Opening a glass cabinet door, he reached in and pulled out an old business journal. Turning, he sat down at his desk and placed the two journals beside each other. His was leather bound and engraved neatly with his name in gold, while his son’s was tattered and the name “Jimmy” had been nearly scuffed from its surface. He ran a long skinny finger over the letters, as though he could restore what had been worn away with time and use. As he opened his journal, the old man’s eyes fell upon an inscription that stood out because it was so brief in comparison to other days. In his own neat handwriting were these words: " Wasted the whole day fishing with Jimmy. Didn’t catch a thing. " With a deep sigh and a shaking hand, he took Jimmy’s journal and found the boy’s entry for the same day, June 4. Large scrawling letters pressed deeply in the paper read: " Went fishing with my dad. Best day of my life." My message:
We have all heard it before, someone once said on their death bed "I wish I played more, I wish I woke up earlier, I wish I laughed, danced and sung more. I wish I could of achieved this and achieved that especially that it seemed so hard at the time, yet it was so simple and I wish I could of spent more time with that person and loved them more. Life can dash past so fast and the moments we spend with the people closest could seem like a second. What we do with those moments given to us and how we share it with the people around us is all up to you. Don't be the person who says I wish I wish I wish when its too late. Be the person who says, I did it, I made it and I touched the lives of many. Cherish the moments you are given today, tomorrow and the next day forever because its the special moments of our life and how we share it that make us all achieve the impossible, the love and the happiness of living. May you have an awesome week full of exciting moments, that bring you closer to achieving your dreams and assisting your loved ones achieve theirs!
Darren Zwiers
The quote:
"To The World, You Might Just Be One Person...
But To One Person, You Might Just Be The World."
Monday, 10 January 2011
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Weakness disguised as an Advantage
This is a story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident. The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master. The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training, the master had taught him only one move. "Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"
"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the Sensei replied. Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.
Several months later, the Sensei took the boy to his first tournament. Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches. The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match. Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.
This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced. For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched. Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out. He was about to stop the match when the Sensei intervened. "No," the Sensei insisted, "Let him continue."
Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard. Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him. The boy had won the match and the tournament. He was the champion.
On the way home, the boy and Sensei reviewed every move in each and every match. Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind. "Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?" "You won for two reasons," the Sensei answered. "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo. And second, the only known defence for that move is for your opponent to grab your left arm."
This weeks quote...
"Many of life's failures are people who did not realise how close they were to success when they gave up." - Thomas Edison
Monday, 3 January 2011
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Life is measured by the lives it touches
There once was a farmer who grew award-winning corn. Each year he entered his corn in the state fair where it won a blue ribbon.
One year a newspaper reporter interviewed him and learned something interesting about how he grew it. The reporter discovered that the farmer shared his seed corn with his neighbours.
"How can you afford to share your best seed corn with your neighbours when they are entering corn in competition with yours each year?" the reporter asked.
"Why sir," said the farmer, "didn't you know? The wind picks up pollen from the ripening corn and swirls it from field to field. If my neighbours grow inferior corn, cross-pollination will steadily degrade the quality of my corn. If I am to grow good corn, I must help my neighbours grow good corn."
He is very much aware of the connectedness of life. His corn cannot improve unless his neighbour's corn also improves.
Darren
This weeks quote...
It is possible to give away and become richer! It is also possible to hold on too tightly and lose everything. Yes, the liberal man shall be rich! By watering others, he waters himself - Mishlei 11:24-25