New Beginning

A man and his wife had been arguing all night, and as bedtime approached neither was speaking to the other. It was not unusual for the pair to continue this war of silence for two or three days, however, on this occasion the man was concerned; he needed to be awake at 4:30am the next morning to catch an important flight, and being a very heavy sleeper, he normally relied on his wife to wake him. Cleverly, so he thought, while his wife was in the bathroom, he wrote on a piece of paper: ‘Please wake me at 4:30am – I have an important flight to catch’. He put the note on his wife’s pillow, then turned over and went to sleep. The man awoke the next morning and looked at the clock. It was 8:00am. Enraged that he’d missed his flight, he was about to go in search of his errant wife to give her a piece of his mind, when he spotted a hand-written note on his bedside cabinet. The note said: ‘It’s 4:30am – get up.’

Reflection

I was taught by my grandmother and reminded by my uncle about the following statement - "never let the sun go down on your anger". This is a powerful message that we should all practice in our relationships. Not just with our partners, but with both friends and people we interact with every day. It is so important to end your anger at the end of every day. It's not healthy holding onto disputes and conflicts as these just turn into long held grudges which sadly turn into animosity. No one likes to hold a grudge, yet we tend to lead ourselves into one plenty of times. The answer is to never go to sleep angry, always do your best to resolve strife before the day is over. We are all human and yes we do run into conflicts from time to time, but the true victor knows how to end discord before it turns into a grudge.  What's the point of spending life on earth being bitter and angry? Life is so fragile and we have no idea what tomorrow brings. In the end, you will be remembered for how you treated others during your life and a grudge or postponed argument is something you do not want left pending. We are so lucky to get the opportunity to renew ourselves and relationships everyday, utilise this gift and it will certainly increase the quality of yours and other peoples' lives too.

May you have an awesome week, where you find the inner strength to end all current conflicts and have the courage to renew broken relationships.

Darren Zwiers

"For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind" - Ralph Waldo Emerson.

The Boy & the Nettle

Adapted from one of Aesop’s Fables

A boy, playing in a field, touched a nettle ever so gently and it stung him. Running home with tears in his eyes, he tells his father that he tried to be gentle. His father says that being gentle was what had caused the problem, and that if he had grabbed the nettle firmly, it would not have stung him. This is because the stinging “hairs” of the plant are squashed and cannot penetrate the skin in the same manner. From this the father deduces a moral for his son. The world is like a field, and you are bound to come across nettles in life. The trick is to either avoid them or grab them, thereby avoiding the painful sting.

Reflection

How often have you started a personal or professional project, big or small and lost motivation shortly afterwards, causing you to give up entirely? There are a few reasons (and far more excuses) for this; one big one being the lack of passion behind your actions. Everything you do in life, big or small, needs to be done with all your might, with extreme passion and commitment. There is no way a person can bw successful without the drive to experience results. Excellence is measured by action and anything short of that commitment won't get you far. A good friend of mine shared a great TED video with me this week "The Key to Success? Grit by Angela Lee Duckwoth" and she very smartly explains that IQ isn't the only thing separating successful people from those who struggle. It's grit. Not the salt to prevent snow from freezing, but rather the perseverance of effort, a long-term goal combined with a powerful motivation to achieve results. A child who is top of his class is measured by the result of his performance in the class, not by his IQ or background. Don’t ever settle for being average as an average performance is a limited performance. It's time to become more committed than ever before to your goals. As Lord Chesterfield says "whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well". The world is full of 'average' people, yet people in this world appreciate excellent results, so don't be that 'average' person, be brilliant in everything you do. Grab every opportunity with might and strength, don't let people stop or sway you. Keep you passion continuously alive and you are guaranteed to reach high levels of success.

May you have an awesome week, where all your actions translate into incredible outcomes.
Darren Zwiers

“Enthusiasm is one of the most powerful engines of success. When you do a thing, do it with all your might. Put your whole soul into it. Stamp it with your own personality. Be active, be energetic, be enthusiastic and faithful, and you will accomplish your object. Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

A New Set Of Eyes

On 9 December 1958 a man by the name of Sydney Bradford entered the Wolverhampton eye hospital in the Midlands of England. At the time, Bradford was 52 years old and had been effectively blind since infancy. He had come to the hospital to receive a corneal transplant, which surgeons hoped would provide him with vision for the first time in his life. Within days of the procedure the doctor entered his room to remove the bandages. Bradford described the experience ,"I heard a voice coming from in front of me and to one side I turned to the source of the sound and saw a blur. I realised that this must be a face". Imagine for a moment seeing a face for the first time. Or perhaps the rich maroon of a glass of wine or the exquisite pallet of a butterfly's wings. How moved would you be by the experience. Now fast forward a few years; you seen that face hundreds of times and you barely notice the butterfly as it flits past you on your morning walk. What has changed? Why does the site not leave you reeling in delight at the sheer extravaganza of visual pleasure?

Reflection

The sad truth is that we have been jaded. We have become numb to the things we see too often. The world is no less beautiful, it is our eyes that no longer see and witness this beauty. Remember when you were a kid, the world was a constant source of wonder. Everything was new, fresh and exciting. Well, we all still live in this same world - so it's us that has changed. Due to evolution and human growth, we have become accustomed to our surroundings and things have become the 'norm', but that doesn't mean we cannot constantly appreciate the immense beauty that we usually take for granted. If the sun never rose for an entire month, how delighted would we be when it rises again. Why should we have to wait for something to be gone in order to truly appreciate it? This is the same for everything in our lives, our surroundings, our families our friends, our possessions and the list goes on. Don't wait to appreciate the small things around you. Right now look around you and pretend you are seeing things with a new set of eyes. Slowly look at the textures, the colours, the shapes and appreciate how beautiful everything around you is. If we can change how we see ordinary things, I can assure you our lives will become so much more enriched.

May you have an awesome week, where the ordinary becomes extraordinary! - Darren Zwiers

NOTE: I’ve been attempting (and succeeding!) in noticing the beauty in small things for a while and I would love to hear what you find. I have created a new Facebook Page, like it and share your discoveries here - http://bit.ly/bits2013

"The real act of discovery consists not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes" Marcel Proust

Get In The Wheelbarrow

Upon completing a highly dangerous tightrope walk over Niagara Falls in appalling wind and rain, The Great Zumbrati was met by an enthusiastic supporter, who urged him to make a return trip, this time pushing a wheelbarrow, which the spectator had thoughtfully brought along. The Great Zumbrati was reluctant, given the terrible conditions, but the supporter pressed him. “You can do it – I know you can” he urged. “You really believe I can do it?” asked Zumbrati. “Yes, definitely, you can do it” the supporter gushed. “Okay” said Zumbrati “get in the wheelbarrow…”

Reflection

When encouraging people, be ready to take on the responsibility of that backing. How many times have people said "you can do it" when in the back of their minds they had their doubts. Yes, it is very important to encourage people to push them beyond the boundaries, but if you are going to push them, make sure to be responsible. There is a fine line between risk and responsibility and if you the one boosting that drive, be aware of all the calculated risks that go with it so that your council is sound and honest. How different would your advice be if it involved you? Of course you would think about it in more detail and not rush into it so quickly. Next time you give encouragement think of the wheelbarrow, would you be so quick to jump into it. At the end of the day when people ask for your reassurance, they are trusting your judgments - don't abuse that trust.

May you have an awesome week!
- Darren Zwiers

"Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be" - Ralph Waldo Emerson