The Pear Tree

The Pear Tree There was a man who had four sons. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in autumn. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said no it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfillment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life. He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, and that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up   My Message How often in life do we jump to conclusions in the first 2 minutes of meeting a person or judge their entire character based on one small act that they did. Yes, we are human and this is far easier said than done, in fact it's almost impossible not to judge someone and that's why its your duty to judge them favourably. It's likely that this isn't the first time you've heard this message yet we tend forget the beauty behind it. The next time you are faced with making judgment, stop, think, and consider if perhaps you are missing one crucial factor, that changes the story from the way it appears. There is nothing more beautiful in this world than putting in the effort to make other people look great, the more we remember to do this the more harmony we will have to live together. This principle requires practice as we are sadly programmed to jump to the wrong conclusions, so for the rest of the day every single person you meet judge them with goodness and you will be amazed how your relationship will be strengthened. Have an awesome week! Darren Zwiers The Quote: Never judge a man by his umbrella. It may not be his -Anonymous

FeedBack to FeedForward

FeedBack to FeedForward Simon an honest, hard working employee met up with his boss and company director to discuss his past performance on a large project which he had just completed. At the end of the discussion, his boss said "You have done a great job", while the owner added "We would really like you to continue with your excellence this way". He thanked both and left the meeting… As he was returning home, he reflected on those words heard from them and felt: "My boss gave me a ‘feedback’ while the director gave me a ‘feed forward’... My boss' comment was a good message; while the director's advice was a great message... One satisfied my Ego while the other charged my energy... One dwelt in the past while the other on the future." He had thanked both ... yet felt more thankful towards the company director. My Message This story illustrates a very good business example, but lets broaden it out towards our personal lives too. How often do we applaud good work but forget to add on encouragement? This is such an important message because we naturally focus on what has been achieved as its more "real" to us but we tend to forget what can be achieved next by adding the smallest bit of encouragement with the applause. I can guarantee when you join feedback with feedforward you are allowing people to grow in ways you could never imagine. Let me explain why… Feedback disappears after a few days, it goes 'off' like milk, Feedback joined with Feed-forward comprises not just commentary about what has been done, but it includes suggestions for what can be done next, making it more sustainable towards growth and productivity. In other words it is not forgotten that easy as it contributes towards progressing in the future. So the next time some looks up to you for feedback remember this small lesson and make sure your feedback always leads to feedforward. Have an awesome week! Darren Zwiers The Quote: “You need to be aware of what others are doing, applaud their efforts, acknowledge their successes, and encourage them in their pursuits. When we all help one another, everybody wins.” - Jim Stovall

People Pleaser

People Pleaser There was an old man, a boy and an ass. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they went along they passed some people who thought that it was a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk. The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more people who thought that it was a real shame for the man to make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe they both should walk. Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had an ass to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride. They soon passed other people who thought that it was a shame to put such a load on a poor little animal. The old man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right so they decided to carry the ass. As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal and it fell into the river and drowned.   My Message The moral of the above story is that if you try to please everyone you will lose your "ass". There’s absolutely nothing wrong with pleasing people, including ourselves. If we’re willing to make sacrifices for the sake of another, who are we to say that’s wrong?  But the fact is, people pleasing isn’t about pleasing others, but fending off our fear of rejection. You have to remember that there is no way you will be able to satisfy everyone all the time, so don't beat yourself up trying. You have to decide what is best for yourself first and then have the courage to see what is needed to help those around you. Most of the time we do our best to please others but land up feeling frustrated, overworked and under acknowledged, and that is purely because you have forgotten who you are and what is best for yourself. Now I'm not saying forgot about everyone else, just make sure to keep yourself on the list of priorities in your daily endeavours. It's time to start living your life more effectively and with a freedom and this way you will be able to achieve 'your' goals and dreams, not someone else's. Have an awesome week! Darren Zwiers The Quote: "We are so accustomed to disguise ourselves to others that in the end we become disguised to ourselves". - François Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Puppies For Sale

Puppies For Sale A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the pups and set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of a little boy. Mister," he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies." "Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "these puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money." The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?" "Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle,"Here Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur. The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared; this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid. Then in a somewhat awkward manner the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up.... "I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."  With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe. Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands." The world is full of people who need someone who understands. With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little pup. Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy. “How much?” asked the little boy. “No charge,” answered the farmer, “There’s no charge for love.”   My Message The beautiful story above refers to a physical disability, but if we reflect on it and replace the limp and hobble with difficult and challenging situations in our lives. You will realise how important it is to help those who might just be going through the same challenges. We are all placed in this world together, to live together, to help each other progress through life in the most comfortable way possible. It is so important to reach out to someone who you can see has the same 'limp' and work together to grow through the challenges. No one in this world deserves to be lonely and no one has the right to allow someone to go lonely. It is your job to reach out and put in as much effort as you can to love and show compassion to others that may understand you and that you can help in some way. Healing others is the greatest healer of your own spirit and is guaranteed to raise you to heights you have never imagined. Giving your time and care is far greater than giving money itself, don't forget the opposite of love is not hate - it's apathy, it's not giving a damn. As the weeks, months and years progress I urge you to be sensitive to your surroundings, make a point to look out for those who you can assist... they could be right next to you. Have a very happy and enthusiastically awesome week! Darren Zwiers The Quote: “We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.” - Unknown